Local Coffee Shops Suck – Go Starbucks!

I have many friends and acquaintances that “hate Starbucks”. Hating Starbucks might even be more popular than hating Paris Hilton.

They all have their pet complaints, usually about some isolated unfair trade practices or injustice carried out by some mid-level area manager or something. The argument always trends to wrap up with how local coffee shops suffer when Starbucks comes to town (the Wal-Mart argument).

But the sad fact of it is that any company that size will have ass-hats that occasionally do bad things. I try not to hold that against a company unless that kind of behavior becomes the executive policy of the company as a whole (which is why I don’t hate Wal-Mart or Starbucks but do hate Disney and Apple).


Let me tell you why Starbucks kicks ass… aside from the fact that they actually serve a decent enough cup of coffee.

The reason Starbucks kicks ass is because they understand this that you can’t stir a 20oz cup of hot liquid with a fucking 4 inch tall plastic stick!

Starbucks has big sticks that fit down into the cup all the way to the bottom without burning your fingers! Out of dozens of local shops I’ve been to in dozens of towns, maybe one or two have had sticks that are appropriate for their larger size cups.

You’d think that if your fucking business IS coffee, then you’d take the time to notice that 4 inches of stick does NOT-the-fuck fit into 10 inches of cup!

How god-damned hard is it to understand ?!?!

See, Starbucks pays attention to those little details.

They provide this level of service in EVERY store.

So… I don’t have to wonder if I’ll have a way to stir my shit when I get to Starbucks because ALL of their shops have good sticks.

I don’t have to wonder if I’ll be stuck trying to open half a dozen tiny little packets of sugar (which is always messy) because Starbucks has both packets AND a free-pour canister of sugar on the counter (I know… almost unbelievable!)

That is why Starbucks is killing your local coffee shop.

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